John Terry exemplifies all the great British sporting values: detemination; intimidation; violence; negativity. Not only does he know how to treat a woman, he’s not afraid of the PC gone mad brigade, and is happy to call another player a black cunt in a bit of friendly non-racist banter. And such was his dedication to his club’s cause that, when he was kept out of the Champions’ League final by injury, it turned out he wears a Chelsea kit under his normal clothes all the time. Like a superhero, always ready to leap into a victory photo in an emergency. What a terrific role model.